Welcome to
Love that Counts

Love that CountsA Journey of Healing through the heartache of Destructive Relationships by Wilma Luimes is a book that was written with the intention of bringing healing to people who carry emotional hurt from current and previous relationships.  

Love does three things - It holds the other person with high regard, value and worth, it meets the needs of the other person and it shows up when needed...

Anything less,... probably not love.  



Love that Counts is based on the Christian faith and contains practical insight into the dynamics of relationships.  It empowers readers with a better understanding of relational functioning and provides tools that can be utilised to both understand and make changes to your own relational functioning. 

God wants his children to experience the joy of happy and healthy relationships.  Anything less is not God's plan for your life. 



We all are in relationships.  We are born into them and as a result we have a learned way of funtioning in relationships.  But the functioning between healthy and unhealthy is different.  Unfortunately we only tend to learn one depending upon what type of family we were born into.  So here are seven key distinguishers between healthy and unhealthy relationships:  Purchase the book online, and find out more...




1.  Have One Leader and One Follower - leadership is a measure of who holds power in the relationship rather than a function of who best has the abilities to take the lead in an specific area.     


2.  Are Emotionally Disconnected - an unhealthy relationship is stressful and as a result becomes emotionally disjointed.  In an unhealthy relationship, the memories are stored per incident like trauma memories. 


3.  Are Reactionary - Unhealthy relationships are characterised by reactionary behavioiurs which contribute towards increasing the amount of emotional damage inflicted upon the other party.  


4.  Speak a language of POWER not Value - The language in an unhealthy relationship is one of fear and control.    


5.  Have no set Boundaries or Dysfunctional Boundaries - the functioning of the relationship is to win at all cost and therefore there is no area of behaviour that is off limits to getting one's own way.  


6.  Practice Win-Lose Decision Making - Decisions in the relationship are exclusive and tend to benefit one party at the expense of the other party.   


7.  Are Disjointed - Relationships are influenced greatly by shifting moods and behaviours much to the confusion of the other party who continually is not sure about their place in the relationship.  


"A language of VALUE produces influence.  A discourse of POWER results in a fight for position.  Which one are you using in your relationships?"  W Luimes

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